16 software tips, tweaks and tricks

Windows Vista SP1

001. Turn off User Account Control (UAC)

The most annoying feature of Vista, UAC interrupts with a pop-up dialogue box, consistently asking if it's OK to run things. It serves two purposes, both to protect the user in case a malicious program is run, and to get programmers to write more secure code. Which is all very nice, but it completely gets in the way of day-to-day work. Here's how to turn off the annoying nuisance forever.

1. Click the Windows button in the bottom left-hand corner.
2. Click Control Panel.
3. This step will change depending on whether you're using the Classic view for Control Panel or not. 
o If you're using Classic View, double click User Accounts
o If you're using the default view, click on the green User Accounts and Family Safety link, then the green User Accounts link
4. There should be a link here, Turn User Account Control on or off. Click it
5. Click Continue in UAC for the last time
6. Uncheck User Account Control (UAC) to help protect your computer, then click OK
7. A notification will pop up — save any documents you have open, and choose Restart Now to reset your computer
8. Never deal with UAC again!
 
Die, die, die my darling.
(Credit: CNET.com.au)

002. Show multiple time zones in the system tray

If you're an international traveller, or have family or business overseas, this one might come in handy, allowing you to display up to two extra clocks from the system tray.
1. Click on the time, then click on the Change date and time settings... link
2. Click on the Additional Clocks tab
3. Check one of the boxes that says Show this clock
4. Set the time zone and display name and click OK when done
5. Now when you click on the time, a second or third clock is shown, with the display name used as a label above it
 
World time is one click away.
(Credit: CNET.com.au)

003. Improve network performance

By default, Vista SP1 has protections enabled which throttle back network performance while playing a media file. This is to ensure the CPU has enough available cycles to play back the media smoothly; however, it may lead to noticeable network performance deficits, particularly over gigabit.
To turn it off: 
1. Click on the Windows button
2. Type regedit and hit enter
3. Browse to HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows NT\CurrentVersion\Multimedia\SystemProfile\
4. Double click the NetworkThrottlingIndex key, and enter FFFFFFFF as the Value data, making sure the Base is set to Hexadecimal
Note that the entry supports values between 1 and 70, and the default is 10. If you enter a numeric value, make sure that the Base is set to Decimal rather than Hexadecimal. The higher the number, the more the throttling is weighted in favour of the network. You may wish to experiment to suit your particular network set-up/media playing needs.

004. Control your audio

Windows Vista supports per application volume control — meaning you can turn your Windows sounds right down, but Media Player right up, for example. Just right-click on the volume icon in the system tray, and click Open Volume Mixer for the extra level of configurability.
 
Finally, we can control volume per application. (Credit: CNET.com.au)

005. Better screenshot tool

Unlike the ages old Printscreen button on the keyboard that takes a screenshot of your entire screen, there's a more complex tool hidden within the bowels of every version of Windows Vista except Home Basic. Known as the snipping tool, it was originally found in an add-on pack for XP Tablet Edition 2005, to make using a stylus easier. Now mouse users on Vista can reap the benefits too.
Just open the Start menu, type snip and hit enter to load the tool. You can now specify whether you want to take a screenshot of a free-form area, a rectangular one, isolate a window or take a screenshot of the entire screen. After you've used the mouse to highlight the area you want, you can draw on the screenshot to add notes, and then save it as you would a normal file.
You can create a keyboard shortcut to it in two ways. For the first, right-click on the application, choose Properties, select the Shortcut tab and in the Shortcut key field click, and enter any alphanumeric key. By default Windows assigns a CTRL + ALT in front of the shortcut, however, we've found this often doesn't work — try holding down SHIFT while pressing a key, to make the key combination CTRL + SHIFT + [whatever key you pressed]. You might create a shortcut here that will clash with existing ones, so be careful.
By far the easier way is to simply CTRL + drag the Snipping Tool shortcut into your Quick Launch bar, effectively copying it there. Now you can access it by pressing + whatever number Quick Launch button it is (for example, if it was the first in the row, you'd press + 1).
 
Better screenshots for all!
Windows XP & Vista

006. View all files in Windows Explorer

By default, Windows Explorer hides a lot of files from the user. It's easy enough to turn them back on, and if you want to poke around your system it's the only way to fly.
1. Open Windows Explorer.
2. Go to the Tools menu, and select Folder Options....
3. Select the View tab, and under Hidden Files and Folders, select Show hidden files and folders.
4. Beneath this, deselect Hide extensions for known file types. This means you should now be able to see whether a file is a .JPG or a .PNG for example.
5. You can optionally deselect Hide protected operating system files (Recommended) under this, however most people won't need this, and unless you really want to see a Desktop.ini file in every folder, it's best to just leave it off.
 
Make sure you can see all your files, not just the ones Microsoft wants you to see.
(Credit: CNET.com.au)

007. Turn on the Quick Launch bar

So many don't even know it exists! The Quick Launch bar is a handy little toolbar into which you can drag application shortcuts that you regularly use. This way you can click once to launch them, rather than having to go through the Start menu.
• Right click on an empty spot on the taskbar, and mouse over Toolbars. Click Quick Launch.
• If the little handle doesn't appear for you to resize the Quick Launch bar (in case you need more room for your shortcuts), right click on an empty spot on the taskbar and make sure Lock the taskbar is unticked. If it's not, simply click on it to unlock the taskbar. You may choose to relock it once you're done resizing.
• You can delete icons from here by right clicking on them and choosing Delete; can reorder them by clicking on them and holding down the left mouse button, then dragging; or add new icons simply by dragging them from elsewhere in Windows. You can also drag icons from the Start menu — but make sure to hold down CTRL at the same time so it copies the shortcut rather than moves it.
 
The Quick Launch bar gives you quick access to your applications. The vertical line the two arrows are pointing to is the handle, which by left clicking on and dragging you can adjust the size of the bar.
(Credit: CNET.com.au)

008. Keep your desktop icons in order

Simple one this — right click on the desktop in an empty spot. In Windows XP, mouse over Arrange Icons By, and make sure Auto Arrange and Align to Grid are selected. By deault this orders all icons on the left hand side in alphabetic order, although you can also choose from Size, Type and Modified order. Or for the ultimate clean desktop, simply deselect Show Desktop Icons.
In Windows Vista, it's a little different. Right click on the desktop in an empty space, and mouse over View. Here you have the same Auto Arrange, Align to Grid and Show Desktop Icons options, however gone are the arrange options, instead giving access to Large Icons, Medium Icons and Classic Icons. You can find the extra order options under the Sort By menu, below View.
 
Get those desktop icons to do what you want.
(Credit: CNET.com.au)

009. Know your keyboard shortcuts

Keyboard shortcuts can make using your PC a heck of a lot quicker. Listed below are some of the essentials — note that a plus symbol (+) indicates striking keys simultaneously.
Universal shortcuts
  Opens Start menu. You can also use CTRL + ESC
 window Key + R Open Run dialog
 window Key+ E Open Windows Explorer
window Key + D Show desktop
window Key + L Lock computer
window Key + PAUSE or BREAK Load system properties
window Key + B Make the system tray active. Use Enter to simulate a double click, or use the arrow keys to select the icons
window Key + TAB Windows XP: Cycle forward through applications in the taskbar 
Windows Vista: Cycle forward through Flip 3D 
window Key + T cycles the taskbar forward in Vista
window Key + SHIFT + TAB Windows XP: Cycle backward through applications in the taskbar 
Windows Vista: Cycle backward through Flip 3D 
window Key + SHIFT + T cycles the taskbar backward in Vista
ALT + TAB Cycle forward in task switcher
ALT + SHIFT + TAB Cycle backward in task switcher
CTRL + ALT + DEL Bring up the Windows Security dialog, allowing you to log out, change password, lock the computer, shutdown or run the Task Manager
CTRL + SHIFT + ESC Load the Task Manager
PrintScreen Take a screenshot, and copy it to the clipboard. To retrieve it, you'll need to paste it into an imaging program like Paint and save it

Windows Vista Only
window Key + any number Hotkeys for the appropriate entry in the QuickLaunch bar. For example, + 1 will execute the first shortcut, + 2 the second, and so on.

File operations in Windows Explorer
CTRL + C Copy the file
CTRL + X Cut the file
CTRL + V Paste the file. If you previously performed the copy shortcut, the file will be copied to the chosen location. If you previously performed the cut shortcut, the file will be moved to the chosen location
CTRL + Z Undo the previous file operation
Holding CTRL when click dragging a file Upon release of mouse button, force the file to copy to the new location
Holding ALT when click dragging a file Upon release of mouse button, create a shortcut to the file in the new location
Holding SHIFT when click dragging a file Upon release of mouse button, force the file to move to the new location
ALT + ENTER or
ALT + double left click on icons Load the properties dialog
SHIFT + DEL Delete file immediately, without sending it to the Recycle Bin.
SHIFT + arrow keys, or HOME/END Group select/deselect multiple sequential files
CTRL + left click Select/deselect multiple specific files
F2 Rename file
F3 Open search Explorer bar
F4 Go to address bar
F5 Refresh contents
Numpad * Expand entire selected folder tree
CTRL+ A Select all files in current window
 or numpad + Expand current folder
 or numpad - Collapse current folder
BACKSPACE Go up to parent folder

Shortcuts with text
CTRL + or Place the cursor at the beginning or the end of the current word.
CTRL + END Send the cursor to the end of the document
CTRL + HOME Send the cursor to the beginning of the document
Double click Quick select the clicked word
Triple click Quick select the clicked paragraph
SHIFT + arrows, HOME, END, PAGE UP or PAGE DOWN Select text

Navigation without a mouse
SHIFT + F10 Same as right clicking a file
TAB Navigate menu elements forward
SHIFT + TAB Navigate menu elements backward
ALT + F4 Close the current application
ALT + SPACEBAR Display application system menu
ALT + Underlined letter in menu Open that menu
SPACEBAR If a checkbox or radio box is selected, activates this. If a button is selected, clicks it
ENTER Click the default button (usually OK)
ESC Equivalent to clicking the CANCEL button

010. Turn on QuickEdit mode in Command Prompt

If you use the Command Prompt a bit, this little tip can be invaluable, allowing you to select text by clicking and dragging with the left mouse button, copy it by right clicking when text is selected, and pasting using the right mouse button when nothing else is selected.
1. Open Command Prompt (usually found in Start > Programs > Accessories > Command Prompt)
2. Click on the icon in the top left, and click Properties
3. Check the box that says QuickEdit Mode, click OK
4. A pop up will appear. Select Modify shortcut that started this window
 
QuickEdit in action.
(Credit: CNET.com.au)

011. Auto-tile applications vertically or horizontally

If you want to easily set up windows so they tile vertically or horizontally, hold down the CTRL key, click on the applications you want to tile in the task bar, and right click. If you're in Windows XP, you can choose Tile Horizontally or Tile Vertically, in Vista it's known as Show Windows Stacked and Show Windows Side By Side. You can also Cascade selected applications in both, however you're not likely to find this useful.
 
Sometimes you just need to show three things at once on screen.
(Credit: CNET.com.au)

012. Stop that annoying click sound

Windows by default plays a "click" sound every time you click on a folder in Windows Explorer, or a link in Internet Explorer. It's superfluous and annoying, given the mouse already clicks for you. To turn it off in Windows XP:
1. Click on the Start button
2. Mouse over Settings and select Control Panel, then open Sounds and Audio Devices
3. Click on the Sounds tab
4. Under Program events, scroll down to Start Navigation
5. Under Sounds at the bottom of the dialog, change the drop down box to (None).
6. Click OK
To turn it off in Vista: 
1. Click the Windows button, and click Control Panel
2. 
o If you're using the default view, click the green Hardware and Sound link, then under the Sound category, click the Change system sounds link.
o If you're using Classic View, just double click the Sounds icon.
3. Click the Sounds tab
4. Under Program, scroll down to Start Navigation
5. Under Sounds at the bottom of the dialog, change the drop down box to (None)
6. Click OK
 
For the love of all things silence — stop clicking!
(Credit: CNET.com.au)

013. Maximise/restore window quickly

To maximise or restore a window quickly, simply double click on the title bar.

014. Expanded context menu

To get extra options when right clicking on a file, hold down SHIFT first.

015. Reduce crash recovery time

If you're not a sysadmin, there's a good chance you're not going to use logging or even understand a kernel dump. With that in mind, we can turn both features off when a blue-screen or crash happens, so you can restart things quicker.
1. In the Control Panel, open System. If you're using Vista, you have one more step: on the left hand side of the pane that opens, click the Advanced system settings link.
2. Click the Advanced tab, and in the Startup and Recovery section click the Settings button.
3. Deselect Write an event to the system log, Automatically restart and set Write debugging information to (None)
4. Click OK, then OK again.
 
Keeping crash time to a minimum.
(Credit: CNET.com.au)

016. Turn off security warning when running files

Needless to say you do this one at your own risk. If you download an executable or file that's seen as a security risk, Internet Explorer tags it so the operating system asks for your confirmation before running. The behaviour also extends to running files off a network, and we've seen cases where it can continue asking this even after you've told it not to.
Here's how to limit how much this not so lovely feature annoys:
1. Click the Start button, then click Run — if you're using Vista, just click the Windows button
2. Type gpedit.msc and hit enter
3. The Group Policy editor has now loaded. On the left, expand User Configuration
4. Expand Administrative Templates
5. Expand Windows Components
6. Click on Attachment Manager
7. Double click Inclusion list for low file types, and set the radio button to Enabled. In the field that appears below, enter the filetypes causing you issues, separated by semicolons. For example: .exe;.doc;.ppt;.xls. Click OK when you're done
8. Restart your machine for it to take effect
If you'd prefer to leave the feature on, but just unblock one file: 
1. Right click the file and click on Properties
2. Click on the Unblock button and click OK
 
Yes. We're sure we want to run it. That's why we clicked on it, right?
(Credit: CNET.com.au)

Chat and IM Abbrieviations

des r sum list of Abbreviations, if u hav sum new ones send me an email techmalik@yahoo.com so dat i can update the list...................u can try nd memorize 'em....all...lmao!!!!

Starting 4rm A through Z

A

A/S Age/Sex?

A/S/L   Age/Sex/Location (or Language)?

AA          Alcoholics Anonymous

AAA        Travel club

AAAAA           Travel club for alcoholics 

American Association Against Acronym Abuse

AAMOF           As A Matter Of Fact

ABC Already Been Chewed

ABD All But Dissertation

ACRONYM         Abbreviated Coded Rendition Of Name Yielding Meaning

ADN             Any Day Now

AFAIAA As Far As I Am Aware

AFAIC As Far As I'm Concerned

AFAICS As Far As I Can See

AFAIK           As Far As I Know

AFAIR As Far As I Remember; As Far As I Recall

AFAIUI As Far As I Understand It

AFK             Away From Keyboard

AFZ Acronym Free Zone

AGNB Age/Gender No Bar

AGRNB Age/Gender/Race No Bar

AIR As I Remember; As I Recall

AISB As I Said Before

AISI            As I See It

AIW As It Were/Was

AKA             Also Known As

AMAP As Much/Many As Possible

AMF Adios Mother F---er; Adios My Friend

ANB Age No Bar

ANFAWFOS        And Now For A Word From Our Sponsor

APAC All Praise And Credit

APYR As Per Your Request

ASAFP           As Soon As F---ing Possible

ASAP            As Soon As Possible

ASCII American Standard Code of Information Interchange

ATB All The Best

ATEOTLYWBAT At The End Of This Lesson You Will Be Able To

ATLA            Another Three Letter Acronym

ATM At The Moment / Automatic Teller Machine

ATTN            Attention

ATTYOB Anything That Turns You On Baby

AWCIGO And Where Can I Get One

AWGTHTGTATA     Are We Going To Have To Go Through ALL This Again?

AWGTHTGTTA       Are We Going To Have To Go Through This Again?

AWHFY           Are We Having Fun Yet?

AYT Are You There?

B

B/C             BeCause (frequently just "b/c")

B3 Blah, Blah, Blah

B4              Before

B4N             Bye for Now

BAC             By Any Chance

BAD             Broken As Designed

BAMF            Bad Assed Mother F---er

BANANA Built Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anybody

BB Be Back

BBFN            Bye Bye For Now

BBIAB Be Back In A Bit

BBL             Be Back Later

BBR             Burnt Beyond Repair

BBS             Bulletin Board System; Be Back Soon

BBW Big Beautiful Woman

BC              Basket Case

BCC Blind Carbon Copy

BCNU            Be seein' you! (saying goodbye)

BEG Big Evil Grin

BF              Boyfriend

BFD             Big F---ing Deal

BFG             Big Friendly Giant; Big F---ing Gun; Big F---ing Grin

BFH Big F---ing Hammer

BFI             Brute Force and Ignorance; Bunch of F---ing Idiots

BFM Big F---ing Magic

BFMI Brute Force and Massive Ignorance

BFN             Bye For Now

BFOG Blouse Full Of Goodies

BFS Big F---ing Screwdriver

BG Big Grin (as in )

BIC Best In Class

BICBW But I Could Be Wrong

BIL Brother In Law

BIN Buy It Now

BION            Believe It Or Not

BIOYIOP         Blow It Out Your I/O Port

BISS Because I Say So

BITD Beaten It To Death

BJ Blow Job

BK              Because

BKA Better Known As

BKAM Between Keyboard And Monitor (i.e., problem is with the user)

BM Bugger Me

BMF Bad Mother F---er

BMOC Big Man On Campus

BMTIPG          Brilliant Minds Think In Parallel Gutters

BNF             Big Name Fan

BOC             But Of Course

BOF Birds Of a Feather

BOFH Bastard [system] Operator From Hell

BOGOF Buy One Get One Free

BOHICA          Bend Over, Here It Comes Again!

BOL Best Of Luck

BOS             Big Orange Switch

BOT             Back On Topic

BOTE Back Of The Envelope

BOTEC           Back Of The Envelope Calculation

BRB             Be Right Back

BRBCTA2S Be Right Back, Can't Think of Anything to (2) Say

BRS             Big Red Switch

BS              Bull S---

BSEG            Big S--- Eating Grin

BSG Broad Sweeping Generalization; Big Smiling Grin

BSOD Blue Screen Of Death

BTA             But Then Again (in response to IOW)

BTAICBW         But Then Again I could Be Wrong

BTAIM           Be That As It May

BTDT            Been There, Done That

BTDTGTTS Been There, Done That, Got The T-Shirt

BTLSOM Beats The Living S--- Out of Me

BTOBD           Be There Or Be Dead

BTSOOM          Beats The S--- Out Of Me

BTW             By The Way

BUAF Butt Ugly ASCII Font

BUAG Butt Ugly ASCII Graphic

BWQ             Buzz Word Quotient

BY BusY

BYKT            But You Knew That

BYKTA           But You Knew That Already

BYOB Bring Your Own Booze/Bottle

C

C/O             in Care Of (for sending mail)

C/P/S City or Country / Profession / Status (married/single)

CADET           Can't Add, Doesn't Even Try

CB              Call Back

CC Carbon Copy; Courtesy Copy

CE              Creative Editing

CF              Charlie Foxtrot; Cluster F--- (meaning similar to SNAFU)

CFD Call For Discussion

CHOWUR see (C) HOW yoU aRe

CHUR see (C) How yoU aRe

CI$             Compu$erve Information Service (tm)

CIC Christ, I'm Confused

CIS             Compuserve Information System (tm)

CIAO            as in goodbye (said 'Chow')

CIO Cut It Out

CLAB Crying Like A Baby

CLOAKA Canonical List Of All Known Acronyms

CMIIW           Correct Me If I'm Wrong

CO              COnference

COB Close Of Business

COD             Cash On Delivery (when receiving mail)

COTFLGOHAHA     Crawling On The Floor Laughing Guts Out And Having A

Heart Attack

CPF             Can Pigs Fly?

CRAFT Can't Remember A F---ing Thing

CRPG            Character (or computer) Role Playing Game

CRS Can't Remember S---

CS              Cop Shop (police station)

CTTD Cute Things They Do

CTTS Cute Things They Say

CU              see (C) yoU

CUL             see (C) yoU LateR

CUL8R           see (C) yoU LateR (L8R)

CUL8TR          see (C) yoU LaTeR (L8TR)

CUNT Computer User Non-Technical

CWYL            Chat With You Later

CYA             Cover Your Ass; see (C) YA

CYL             see (C) You Later

D

D&C             "Duck and Cover" - a popular 1950's song in dedication

to the atomic bomb (and its' possible attack)

D/L             Download, transmit to you

DAF Divorced Asian Female

DAM Divorced Asian Male

DAP             Parents Against Dyslexia

DBA             Doing Business As

DBF Divorced Black Female

DBM Divorced Black Male

DBN             Doing Business, NOT

DD Darling Daughter

DEU Dumb End User

DFU Don't Forget Units

DH Dear Hubby; Dumb Hubby; Deaf Hubby; DickHead

DIIK            Damned If I Know

DIIN            Damned If I kNow

DIL Daughter In Law

DILLIGAF        Does It Look Like I Give A F---?

DILLIGAFF       Do I Look Like I Give a Flying F---?

DINK Double Income, No Kids

DINKY Double Income, No Kids Yet

DITUIHIBMSL?    Did I tell you I hate IBMs lately?

DITUILIBMSL?    Did I tell you I love IBMs lately?

DJF Divorced Jewish Female

DJM Divorced Jewish Male

DK              Don't Know

DKU Drop Kick Ugly

DL              Download, transmit to you

DLG             Devilish Little Grin

DNA Did Not Answer

DNPM            Darn Near P---ed Myself

DOA             Dead On Arrival

DOB Date/Day Of Birth

DOM             Dirty Old Man

DOY Dumbass Of the Year

DRA Don't Recognize Acronyms

DS Darling Son

DTA Don't Trust Anybody

DTD Document Type Definition

DTOKAB Drop To One Knee And Blow

DTP             DeskTop Publishing

DTRT            Do The Right Thing

DUCWIC          Do You see (C) What I see (C)

DUK Dead Upon Keyboard

DWF Divorced White Female

DWIM Do What I Mean

DWIMC           Do What I Mean, Correctly

DWIMNWIS        Do What I Mean, Not What I Say

DWKOTA Deep Wet Kiss On The Ass

DWKOTL Deep Wet Kiss On The Lips

DWM Divorced White Male

DYE Damn Your Eyes!

DYHWIH          Do You Hear What I Hear

DYSWIS          Do You See What I See

E

E2EG            Ear to Ear Grin

ED              Emotionally Disturbed

EDP             Emotionally Disturbed Person

EG Evil Grin; (for example, usually e.g.)

EGC Extrememly Gruntled Customer

EIF Exercise In Futility

EMRU Error Message Replace User

EMS E-Mail Shorthand

EOB End Of Business

EOD             End Of Discussion

EOF End Of File

EOL             End Of Lecture

EOT             End Of Thread (i.e., don't reply to this message)

ERU Error Replace User

ES&D            Eat S--- & Die

ES&LTHI Eat Shit & Live To Hate It

ESAD            Eat S--- And Die

ESAL            Eat S--- And Live

ESBAM Eat S---, Bark At Moon

ESP             ESPecially (frequently just "esp.")

ESOSL           Endless Snorts of Stupid Laughter

ETA Estimated Time of Arrival

ETD Estimated Time of Departure

ETE Estimated Time En route

ETLA            Extended Three Letter Acronym

F

F2F Face To Face

FA F--- All (nothing)

FAQ             Frequently Asked Question

FCFS            First Come, First Served

FCOL            For Crying Out Loud

FDROTFL         Falling Down Rolling On The Floor Laughing

FFRD            Flying F--- in a Rolling Donut (I don't give a....)

FFS For F---s Sake

FHFHFH F--- Him, Feed Him FishHeads

FICCL Frankly, I Couldn't Care Less

FIGJAM F--- I'm Good, Just Ask Me

FIGMO           F--- It, Got My Orders

FIIK            F---ed If I Know!

FIIN            F---ed If I kNow!

FIL Father In Law

FIOFYF Figure It Out For Yourself, F---er

FISH            First In, Still Here

FISHDO F--- It, S--- Happens, Drive On

FITB            Fill In The Blank

FKMFATIFKYB French Kiss My Furry Ass 'Til It French Kisses You Back!

FLK Funny Looking Kid

FMH             F--- Me Harder (usually an exclamation of disgust)

FMTEYEWTK Far More Than Everything You've Ever Wanted To Know

FNI F---ing Not Involved

FotR Fellowship of the Rings (a Tolkien work)

FOAD            F--- Off And Die

FOAF            Friend Of A Friend

FOAFOAG         Father Of A Friend Of A Girlfriend

FOAG            Father Of A Girlfriend

FOCLMAO Fell Off Chair Laughin My Ass Off

FOD Finger Of Death

FOOBAR          Variant of FUBAR

FOR For Obvious Reasons

FOS             Freedom Of Speech; Full Of S---

FOT             Full Of Tripe

FOTCL           Falling Off The Chair Laughing

FRE Frequently Requested Enhancement

FRED            F---ing Ridiculous Electronic Device

FRZ             Fruitin' Religious Zealot

FTASB           Faster Than A Speeding Bullet

FTDS F--- The Dumb S---

FTF             Face To Face

FTL             Faster Than Light

FTP             File Transfer Protocol

FTR For The Record

FTS             Fixin' To Start

FUBAB           F---ed Up Beyond All Belief

FUBAR           F---ed Up Beyond All Repair/Recognition

FUD             Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt

FUMTU           F---ed Up More Than Usual

FURTB           Full Up Ready To Burst (about hard disk drives!)

FWIW            For What It's Worth

FWMAYOR F--- With Me At Your Own Risk

FY&TSYRIO       F--- You & The Sysop You Rode In On

FYA             For Your Amusement

FYDITM          F--- You Directly In The Mouth

FYEO For Your Eyes/Ears Only

FYI             For Your Information

G

G2G Got to Go

G               Grin (as in )

GA              Go Ahead

GAC Get A Clue

GAFIA           Get Away From It All (as in drop out of ILink for a bit)

GAFM Get Away From Me

GAL Get A Life

GBH&K Great Big Hugs & Kisses

GBH&KB Greak Big Hugs & Kisses Back

GBTM Get Back To Me

GBY God Bless You

GC Garbage Collect (tidy up)

GD&H    Grinning, Ducking & Hiding

GD&R            Grinning, Ducking & Running

GD&RF           Grinning, Ducking & Running Fast!

GD&RVVF         Grinning, Ducking & Running Very Very Fast!

GD&W            Grinning, Ducking & Weaving

GF              Girlfriend

GFR             Grim File Reaper (pervasive data destroyer)

GFU             General F--- Up

GFY Go F--- Yourself

GGC             Goo Goo Cluster (cause zits & intestinal blockage)

GGG GiGGle (as in )

GGN             Gotta Go Now

GH              Getting Hard (male)

GIGO            Garbage In, Garbage Out; Garbage In, Gospel Out 

(people accepting blindly what the computer says)

GIWIST          Gee, I Wish I'd Said That

GKW God Knows What

GLG             Goofy Little Grin

GLGH            Good Luck and Good Hunting

GM Got Milk?

GMT Greenwich Mean Time

GMTA            Great Minds Think Alike

GOK             God Only Knows

GOOML Get Out Of My Life

GOTFIA          Groaning On The Floor In Agony

GOWI            Get On With It

GPF             General Protection Fault; Go Puke, Fast!

GRUIT           Get Real yoU Impudent Thing

GSHIWMP Giggling So Hard I Wet My Pants

GTABO Get That Ass Back On (in response to ROFLMAO)

GTBOS Glad To Be Of Service

GTFOOMF         Get The F--- Out Of My Face

GTG Got To Go; Good To Go

GTP Gone To Pee

GW              Getting Wet (female)

GWATCDR God Willing And The Creek Don't Rise

H

H2              How To

HAND            Have A Nice Day

HAK Hugs And Kisses

HCB             Holy Cow, Batman!

HHGTTG          HitchHiker's Guide To The Galaxy

HHO 1/2 K       Ha Ha Only Half Kidding

HHOJ            Ha Ha Only Joking

HHOK            Ha Ha Only Kidding

HHOS            Ha Ha Only Serious

HIB_ Have I Been ______?

HIRTA HereInafter Referred To As

HLV Hasta La Vista

HLVB Hasta La Vista, Baby

HMFIC Head Mother F---er In Charge

HMFWRIC Head Mother F---er What aRe In Charge

HOMPR           Hang On, Mobile Phones' Ringing

HP Home Page

HSIK            How Should I Know

HSP Highly Sensitive Person

HTB Heavens To Betsy

HTFSIK          How The F--- Should I Know

HTH             Hope This Helps!

HTML Hyper Text Markup Language

HUA             Head Up Ass

HUF Horny Unattached Female

HUM Horny Unattached Male

HW HardWare

HWUA            Head Way Up Ass

HWS(PEST)       Husband Wants Sex (Please Excuse Slow Typing)

I

I18N InternationalizatioN (18 characters between "I" and "N")

IAAA            I Am An Accountant

IAAL            I Am A Lawyer

IAC             In Any Case

IAE             In Any Event

IANAA           I Am Not An Accountant

IANAC           I Am Not A Crook

IANAL           I Am Not A Lawyer

IANALBIPOOTV    I Am Not A Lawyer, But I Play One On TV

IANYM In A New York Minute

IARTPFWTSIOWIM  I Am Repeating This Parrot-Fashion Without The

Slightest Idea Of What It Means.

IASH I Am So Horny

IAWTP I Agree With This Post

IBB I'll Be Back

IBC             Inadequate, But Cute

IBM             Inadequate, But Marketable

IC              I see (C)

ICB I Care Because?

ICBI I Can't Believe It

ICBM            InterContinental Ballistic Missile

ICFBI I Can't F---ing Believe It!

ICIHICPCL I Can't Imagine How I Could Possibly Care Less

ICTYBTIHTKY I Could Tell You But Then I'd Have To Kill You

ICUR            I see (C) You Are

IDD InDeeD

IDGAD           I Don't Give A Damn

IDGAS           I Don't Give A S---

IDGI I Don't Get It

IDK I Don't Know

IDTS I Don't Think So

IDTT            I'll Drink To That!

IE that is (normally i.e.)

IHATCFYB        I Have A Terrible Craving For Your Body!

IHNJ,IJLS I Have No Joke, I Just Like Saying (often together like this)

IHTBS It Has To Be Shown

IHTFP           I Hate This F---ing Place; I Have Truly Found Paradise

IIABDFI         If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It

IINM If I'm Not Mistaken

IIRC            If I Recall/Remember Correctly

IITYWIMIWHTKY   If I Tell You What It Means, I Will Have To Kill You

IITYWIMWYBMAD   If I Tell You What It Means, Will You Buy Me A Drink?

IITYWTMWYKM     If I Tell You What This Means Will You Kiss Me?

IITYWYBAD       If I Tell You, Will You Buy Another Drink?

IITYWYBMAB      If I Tell You, Will You Buy Me A Beer?

IIUC If I Understand Correctly

IJLS I Just Like Saying

IK I Know

IKYABWAI I Know You Are, But What Am I?

ILI             I Like Ike

ILICISCOMK I Laughed, I Cried, I Spat Coffee/Coke/Cadmium On My Keyboard

ILIWTPCT        I Love It When The Plan Comes Together.

ILN It's Looking Nice / It Looks Nice

ILS Imaginary Lat Syndrome

ILSHIBAMF       I Laughed So Hard I Broke All My Furniture!

ILU             I Love yoU

ILY             I Love You

ILYVM I Love You Very Much (variable number of Vs)

IMAO            In My Arrogant Opinion

IMBO            In My Biased Opinion

IMCDO           In My Conceited Dogmatic Opinion

IMCO            In My Considered Opinion

IME             In My Experience

IMHO            In My Humble Opinion

IMMOR I Make My Own Rules

IMMSMC If My Memory Serves Me Correctly

IMNSHO          In My Not So Humble Opinion

IMNSVHO In My Not So Very Humble Opinion

IMO             In My Opinion

IMOBO           In My Own Biased Opinion

IMPOV           In My Point Of View

IMS I Must Say

IMU I Miss yoU

IMVHO           In My Very Humble Opinion

INGSI I'm Not Gonna Say It

INPO            In No Particular Order

INT I'll Never Tell

IOU             I Owe yoU

IOW             In Other Words

IRL In Real Life

IROOC           I've Run Out Of Cigarettes

ISAGN I See A Great Need

ISO In Search Of; International Organization for Standardization;

Organisation Internationale de Normalisation

ISP Internet Service Provider

ISTM It Seems To Me

ISTR            I Seem To Remember

ITAH Is There Anybody Here

ITFA            In The Final Analysis

IUTHALORFH I Used To Have A Lot Of Respect For Him/Her

ITYM I Think You Mean

IUTKATS I Used To Know All That Stuff

IWBNI           It Would Be Nice If

IWIK            I Wish I Knew

IWSN I Want Sex Now

IYFEG           Insert Your Favorite Ethnic Group

IYKWIM If You Know What I Mean

IYKWIMAITYD If You Know What I Mean And I Think You Do

IYSWIM If You See What I Mean

IYW If You Wish

J

J/K Just Kidding

JAFO Just Another F---ing Observer

JAFU Just Another F--- Up

JAM             Just A Moment; Just A Minute

JANFU           Joint Army-Navy F--- Up.  (When American troops get

shelled by their own side, in this case involving

both the army and the navy.)

JAS             Just A Second

JAWS            Just Another Windows Shell

JBF Just Been F---ing

JFF Just For Fun

JFYI Just For Your Information

JIC             Just In Case

JMOOC Just My Opinion Of Course

JMHFOOC Just My Humble F---ing Opinion Of Course

JPW Just Plain Weird

JSNM            Just Stark Naked Magic

JTYWTK          Just Thought You Wanted To Know

K

K oKay

KCBIWIYWI       Keep Coming Back, It Works If You Work It

KDW Keep Digging, Watson (reply to NSS)

KEAH Kill Everyone After Hours

KIBO Knowledge In, Bulls--- Out

KISS            Keep It Simple Stupid

KITA            Kick In The Ass  (type of therapy)

KMA             Kiss My Ass

KMYF            Kiss Me You Fool

KOTC Kiss On The Cheek

KOTL Kiss On The Lips

KTCOOTN Keep This Crap Out Of This Newsgroup

KUTGW Keep Up The Good Work

KWIM Know What I Mean?

KYHOOYA Keep Your Head Out Of Your Ass

L

L8R             Later

LAB&TYD         Life's A Bitch & Then You Die

LAGNAF          Let's All Get Naked And F---

LAMDILLIGAF Look At Me, Do I Look Like I Give A F---?

LART            Luser Attitude Re-adjustment Tool [Clue by four]

LASER Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation

LBB Little Black Box (slang for a WebTV Set-box unit)

LIFER Lazy Incompetent F---er Evading Responsibility

LJBF Let's Just Be Friends

LLTA            Lots and Lots of Thunderous/Thundering Applause

LMA Leave Me Alone

LMAO            Laughing My Ass Off

LMAOROTF Laughing My Ass Off Rolling On The Floor

LMC Lost My Connection

LMCOA Lost My Connection Once Again

LMFAO           Laughing My F---ing Ass Off

LMK Let Me Know

LMTFA           Leave Me The F--- Alone

LMWIS           Lick Me Where I Sweat

LotR Lord of the Rings (a Tolkien work)

LOA List Of Acronyms/Abbreviations

LOHICA Look Out, Here It Comes Again (military term)

LOI Lack Of Interest

LOL             Laughing Out Loud; Little Old Lady; Lots Of Luck

LOLAROTG Laughing Out Loud And Rolling On The Ground

LOMBARD         Lots Of Money But A Real Dickhead

LSFIAB Like Shooting Fish In A Barrel

LSHIPMP Laughing So Hard I Peed My Pants

LSP Less Sensitive Person

LTBF Learn To Be Funny

LTIP            Laughing Til I Puke

LTMSH           Laughing 'Til My sides Hurt

LTNS Long Time, No See

LTUAE Life, The Universe, And Everything (3rd part of THHGTTG)

LULU Locally Unwanted Land Use

LUSER Loser USER

LYVM Love You Very Much (variable number of Vs)

LZ Loser!

M

M$ Micro$oft

MARINE My Ass Riding In Navy Equipment;

Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Essential

MAY Mad About You

MAYB Mad About You, Baby

MBS*   (Used by Me nd my pals only)

MBUC Mind Bogglingly Unlikely Coincidence

MCIBTY(SN)      My Computer Is Better Than Yours (So Nyerrr)

MD              More Dirt (Physician)

MEGO My Eyes Glaze Over

MFG             More Friendly Garbage!

MFIC Mother F---er In Charge

MFWIC Mother F---er What's In Charge

MGD             My Gameboy Died

MH Mostly Harmless (5th part of THHGTTG)

MHDC(A)         My Hard Drive crashed (again)

MIF Milk In First (for tea drinking)

MIL Mother In Law

MILF Mother I'd Like to F---

MILG Make It Look Good

MIPS Meaningless Information Per Second

ML More Later

MLA             Multiple Letter Acronym

MMIF            My Mouth Is Full

MOF             Matter Of Fact

MOR Middle Of the Road

MORF            Male Or Female

MOS             Member of the Opposite Sex

MOHOSOTO   (Don't know d meanin')

MOTAS           Member Of The Appropriate Sex

MOTD Message Of The Day

MOTH            Humorous Collectibles Forum variation on Member of the Month

MOTM            Member Of The Month

MOTOS           Member Of The Opposite Sex

MOTSS           Member Of The Same Sex

MS              More S---; More of the Same; (Masters Degree)

MSCEA           My Southern Comforts' Empty Again

MSS             Member of the Same Sex

MTFBWY May The Force Be With You

MUD             Multi User Domain (or Dungeon)

MUF Material Unaccounted For

MUNG            Mash/Mung Until No Good

MYOB            Mind Your Own Business

N

NAGI Not A Good Idea

NAHM Not A Happy Man

NAHW Not A Happy Woman

NAVY            Never Again Volunteer Yourself

NB Nota Bene (note well)

NBD             No Big Deal

NBL             Not Bloody Likely

NBTD Nothing Better To Do

NERD            National Establishment for Real Dorks

NFG             No F---ing Good

NFI             No F---ing Idea

NFIAA No F---ing Idea At All

NFW             No F---ing Way

NFY No F--- You

NG News Group

NHOH Never Heard Of Him/Her

NIAA No Idea At All

NICBDAT         Nothing Is Certain But Death And Taxes

NIDWTC No I Don't Want To Chat

NIH Not Invented Here

NIMBY           Not In My Back Yard

NIMFYE Not In My Front Yard Either

NINO            Nothing In, Nothing Out

NIMTO           Not In My Term of Office

NIT Not In Therapy

NLI Not Logged In

NM NeverMind

NMFJ Not My F---ing Job

NMI No Middle Initial

NN Night-Night

NOPE Not On Planet Earth

NORWICH kNickers Off Ready When I Come Home

NOYB            None Of Your Business

NP No Problem

NPA Non-Performing Assets

NPF No Problem Found

NPLU            Not People Like Us

NQA             No Questions Asked

NQOS            Not Quite Our Sort

NRN             No Reply Necessary

NSS             No S---, Shylock/Sherlock

NTG             Not Too Good

NTH             No Therapy Helpful

NTIBOA Not That I'm Bitter Or Anything

NTIM            Not That It Matters

NTIMM           Not That It Matters Much

NTL             NeverTheLess / NoneTheLess

NUI             Network User Identification

NWCDP Nothing We Could Do Partner

NYM New York Minute

NYP Not Your Problem

O

O Over (to you)

OATUS           On A Totally Unrelated Subject

OAUS            On An Unrelated Subject

OB              Obligatory (frequently Ob)

OBE Overtaken By Events

OBTW            Oh, By the Way

OD              OverDose; Oh Dear

OFO Out F---ing Off

OFS One Finger Salute

OIC             Oh, I see (C)

OMFG Oh My F---ing God!

OMG Oh My God!

ONNA            Oh No, Not Again

ONNTA           Oh No, Not This Again

OO Over and Out

OOSOOM          Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind

OOTB Out Of The Box

OOTC            Obligatory On Topic Comment

OPL Obvious Panty Line

OPM Other People's Money

OPP Other People's Problems

OSIF Oh S---, I Forgot!

OSIM Oh Shoot It's Monday

OSU Officially Sanctioned User

OT Off Topic

OT1H On The One Hand

OTBE Over Taken By Events (orig. military)

OTC             Over The Counter

OTD Out The Door

OTF             On The Floor

OTK Over The Knee

OTL             Out To Lunch

OTOH            On The Other Hand; On The One Hand

OTOOH           On The Other Other Hand

OTT Over The Top

OTTH            On The Third Hand

OTTOMH          Off The Top Of My Head

OTTOMHAROO      Off the Top of My Head and Rolling Out of Bounds

OTW             On The Whole

OW Oh Well

OWTTE           Or Words To That Effect

P

PABG            Pack A Big Gun

PBD Programmer Brain Damage

PBM             Play By Mail (games)

PCB             Please Call Back

PCMCIA People Can't Master/Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms;

Personal Computer Memory Card International Association

PCO Please Carry On 

PCYLIHOONL      Please Cross Your Legs, I Have Only One Nail Left

PD              Public Domain

PDA Public Display of Affection

PDN             Public Data Network

PDQ             Pretty Damn Quick

PEBCAK Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard

PF&HOMW         Printed, Framed & Hanging On My Wall

PFM Pure F---ing Magic

PFY Pimply Faced Youth

PGY             Post Graduate Year (as in PGY-1, PGY-2 etc. used in PGY Med)

PHAT Pretty Hot And Tempting

PHB Pointy Haired Boss (from Dilbert, i.e., doesn't have a clue)

PhD             Piled Higher and Deeper.

PHD Push Here Dummy (type of automatic camera)

PICNIC Problem In Chair, Not In Computer

PIMP            Pee In My Pants (often in combination)

PITA            Pain In The Ass

PITBY Put It in Their Back Yard

PJW Please Just Wait

PKB Pot, Kettle, Black!

PLBKAC Problem Lies Between Keyboard And Chair

PLMKO Please Let Me Know, Ok?

PLOKTA          Press Lots Of Keys To Abort

PLONK Please Leave Our Newsgroup, Killfiled!

PMBI            Pardon My Butting In

PMETC           Pardon Me ETC.

PMFBI           Pardon Me For Butting In

PMFJI Pardon Me For Jumping In

PMFJIH          Pardon Me For Jumping In Here.

PMJI            Pardon My Jumping In

PMYMHMMFSWGAD   Pardon Me, You Must Have Mistaken Me For Someone 

Who Gives A Damn

PMYMHMMFSWGAS   Pardon Me, You Must Have Mistaken Me For Someone Who

Gives A S---.

POC Prisoner Of Chat; Peeping Other Chatters

POETS Piss On Everything, Tomorrow's Saturday; Piss Off Early,

Tomorrow's Saturday

POITS Piss On It Tomorrow's Saturday

POM Phase Of the Moon

POME Prisoner Of Mother England

POP Point Of Presence; Post Office Protocol

POS Piece Of S---; Person Over Shoulder

POSSLQ          Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters

POQ             Piss Off Quickly

POQADCB         Piss Off Quickly and Don't Come Back!

POV             Point Of View

PPL PeoPLe

PPN             Programmer Project Number (currently known as UserID)

PPOSTFU Post Proof Or Shut The F--- Up

PPP             Petty Pet Peeve; Point to Point Protocol

PPPP            Previous Paragraph was Polemical Position

PS              Post Scriptum; PostScript

PT              Physical Training

PTB             Powers That Be

PTM Please Tell Me

PTO             Patent and Trademark Office (US Govt); Please Turn Over

PUNTS People of Utterly No Tactical Significance (military term)

PW Pathetic Wanker; PowWow

PYS Pack Your Stuff

Q

QED             Quod Erat Demonstrandum; Quite Easily Done

QT QuieT (also q.t., Q&T, or as a phrase "on the q.t.")

R

RA Research Assistant; Resident Assistant

RAK Random Act of Kindness

RBS Really Big Screen

RE              REgarding

REMF Rear Echelon Mother F---ers (eg, clueless micromanaging bosses)

RFC Request For Comments

RFD             Request For Discussion

RFT             Request For Thinking

RHIP            Rank Has Its Privileges

RL Real Life

RLCO            Real Life COnference

RNA             Ring, No Answer

ROFFNAR         Rolling On the Floor For No Apparent Reason

ROFL            Rolling On the Floor Laughing

ROFLAHMSL       Rolling On the Floor Laughing And Holding My Sides Laughing

ROFLASC         Rolling On the Floor Laughing And Scaring the Cat

ROFLASTC        Rolling On the Floor Laughing And Scaring The Cat

ROFLGO          Rolling On Floor Laughing Guts Out!

ROFLMAO         Rolling On the Floor Laughing My ASCII Off

ROFLMAOOL Rolling On the Floor Lauging My Ass Off Out Loud

ROFLOL          Rolling On the Floor Laughing Out Loud

ROFLOLVH        Rolling On the Floor Laughing Out Loud Very Hard

ROFLWMK Rolling On the Floor Laughing -- Wet My Knickers

ROFPML          Roll On Floor Pissing Myself Laughing.

ROFTTPOF        Rolling On the Floor Trying To Put Out Flames

RotK Return of the King (a Tolkien work)

ROTBA           Reality On The Blink Again

ROTF            Rolling On The Floor

ROTFL           Rolling On The Floor Laughing

ROTFLAHMS       Rolling On The Floor Laughing And Holding My Side

ROTFLMAAOBPO    Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass And Other Body Parts Off

ROTFLMAO Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off

ROTFSTCLMAAOBPO Rolling On The Floor Scaring The Cat Laughing My Ass

And Other Body Parts Off

ROTM            Right On The Money

RPG             Role Playing Games

RSN             Real Soon Now

RSVP Repondez S'il Vous Plait (French, "please reply")

RT Real Time

RTFI            Read The F---ing Instructions

RTFM            Read The F---ing Manual

RTFQ Read The F---ing Question

RTFS Read The F---ing Source

RTFMS           Read The F---ing Manual, Sir  (from the military)

RTI Real Time Interruption

RTS Read The Screen

RUMF aRe yoU Male or Female?

S

S/O SomeOne (frequently just "s/o")

S/TH SomeTHing (frequently just "s/th")

S2BX Soon To Be eX

SAF Single Asian Female

SAM Single Asian Male

SAMF Sad Ass Mother F---er

SAMFU           Self-Adjusting Military F--- Up

SAMFUTU Situation Abnormal, More F---ed Up Than Usual

SAPFU           Surpassing All Previous F--- Ups

SAR Smart Ass Remark

SAYOR Speak At Your Own Risk

SBB Stupid Beyond Belief

SBCN            Sitting Behind the Computer, Naked

SBD Silent But Deadly

SBF Single Black Female

SBID S---ty But It'll Do

SBM Single Black Male

SCNR Sorry, Could Not Resist

SCUBA Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus

SDIHTT SomeDay I'll Have The Time

SEC             SECond, eg. Wait a sec

SEG             S--- Eating Grin

SEP             Somebody Else's Problem

SFLA            Stupid Four Letter Acronym

SFT Sorry For That

SGML Standardized General Markup Language

SH              S--- Happens

SHLH Sitting Here Lauging Hysterically

SHTS Spit Hitting The Spam

SHTSI Somebody Had To Say It

SICS            Sitting In Chair Snickering

SIG             Special Interest Group

SIIN            Stuffed If I Know!

SIL Son In Law; Sister In Law

SITD            Still In The Dark

SJF Single Jewish Female

SJM Single Jewish Male

SLATFATF So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish (4th part of THHGTTG)

SLIP Single Line In Protocol; Serial Line Internet Protocol

SLJ S---ty Little Job

SLJO S---ty Little Job Officer

SMAR Suck My Ass Raw

SMDP System Monitoring Display Protocol

SMEF Serious Massive Existence Failure

SMMWO Shut My Mouth Wide Open

SMO             Serious Mode On

SMOF Secret Master(s) Of Fandom

SMOP            Small Matter Of Programming

SMOFF           Serious Mode OFF

SMTP Simple Mail Transfer Protocol

SNAC Sitting Naked At Computer

SNAFU           Situation Normal: All F---ed Up

SNAG Sensitive New Age Guy

SNERT Snot-Nosed Egotistical Rude Teenager

SNFIAA Still No F---ing Idea At All

SNR Signal to Noise Ratio

SO              Significant Other

SOB Son Of a Bitch

SOH Sense Of Humor

SOI             Stink On Ice

SOL             S--- Out of Luck

SOP             Standing Operational Procedures; Standard Operating Procedure

SOS             Same Old S---

SOSO Same Old, Same-Old

SOVS SomeOne Very Special

SPAM            SPiced hAM (Hormel's canned meat)

SSDD            Same S---, Different Day

SSIA Subject Says It All

ST              Star Trek; Such That (frequently just "s.t.")

ST-DS9          Star Trek, Deep Space 9

ST-TNG          Star Trek, The Next Generation

ST-TOS          Star Trek, The Original Series

ST-VOY          Star Trek, Voyager

STBY Sucks To Be You

STFU            Shut The F--- Up

STFW Search The Fine/F---ing Web

STIFF           "Stiff", said loudly.

STI / ST-TMP    Star Trek, first movie / The Motion Picture

STII / ST-WOK   Star Trek, second movie / 'Wrath Of Khan'

STIII / ST-SFS  Star Trek, third movie / 'Search For Spock'

STIV / ST-TVH   Star Trek, fourth movie / 'The Voyage Home'

STS So To Speak

STV / ST-TFF    Star Trek, fifth movie / 'The Final Frontier'

STVI / ST-TUC   Star Trek, sixth movie / 'The Undiscovered Country'

SUCDIC Situation Under Control, Dickheads In Charge

SUFID           Screwing Up Face In Disgust

SUNOILTY Shut Up, No One Is Listening To You

SUSFU           Situation Unchanged, Still F---ed Up

SUYP Shut Up You Pervert

SW SoftWare; So What?; Says Whom?; StarWars

SW-SE StarWars Special Edition

SWAG            Simple Wild Ass Guess; Scientific Wild Ass Guess

SWAK            Sealed With A Kiss

SWALK           Sealed With A Loving Kiss

SWCOC Special Wishes, Comments, Or Corrections

SWDYRTW Since When Do You Rule The Web?

SWF Single White Female

SWM Single White Male

SWMBO           She Who Must Be Obeyed

SWYP So What's Your Problem?

SYSOP           SYStem OPerator

SYT             Sweet Young Thing

T

TA Teaching Assistant

TAF             That's All, Folks!

TAFN            That's All For Now

TAMO Then A Miracle Occurs

TANJ            There Ain't No Justice

TANSTAAFL       There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

TARFU           Things Are Really F---ed Up

TBC To Be Continued

TBE             To Be Expected

TBH To Be Honest

TBYB            Try Before You Buy

TC              Telephone Call; Take Care

TCB             Taking Care of Business

TCBY            Taking Care of Business, Ya'll

TCD             The Cat's Dead

TDD             The Dog's Dead

TDM             Too Damn Many

TEOTWAWKI The End Of The World As We Know It

TFB Too F---ing Bad

TFE             Too F---ing Easy

TFM The F---ing Manual

TFS             Three Finger Salute (Ctrl-Alt-Del)

TFTT            Thanks For The Thought

TFW Totally F---ing Worthless

TGAL            Think Globally, Act Locally

TGIF            Thank God Its Friday

TGTF Thank God Tomorrow's Friday

THHGTTG The HitchHiker's Guide To The Galaxy

THO Titty Hard On

TIA             Thanks In Advance

TIATLG          Truly, I Am The Living God

TIC             Tongue In Cheek

TIE Take It Easy

TIME            Tears In My Eyes (often in combination)

TIMTOWTDI There Is More Than One Way To Do It

TINALO          This Is Not A Legal Opinion

TINAR           This Is Not A Recommendation

TINC There Is No Cabal

TINSTAAFL There Is No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

TINWIS          That Is Not What I Said

TIWTGLGG        This Is Where The Goofy Little Grin Goes

TIP             To Insure Promptness

TJATAW          Truth, Justice, And The American Way

TLA             Three Letter Acronym

TLC Tender Loving Care

TLG             The Living God

TM              Thread Mangler

TMI             Too Much Information

TMIKTLIU The More I Know, The Less I Understand

TMTC Too Many To Count

TN              TelNet

TNOTVS          There's Nothing On Television, So ...

TNSO Temptingly Naked Significant Other

TNX             Thanks (as in ThaNX)

TOTC Too Old To Care

TPAE The Possibilities Are Endless

TPS(S)          This Program Sucks (Severely)

TPTB            The Powers That Be

TQM Total Quality Management

TRATEOTU The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe (2nd part of THHGTTG)

TRDMC           Tears Running Down My Cheeks

TRDMTL Tears Running Down My Trouser Legs

TS Tough S---

TSOHF           Total Sense Of Humour Failure

TSJD            Texas Size Jelly Donut - official food of Texas sysops

TSR             Terminate and Stay Resident program; Totally Stupid Rules

TT Two Towers, The (a Tolkien work)

TTBE            That's To Be Expected

TTBOMK          To The Best Of My Knowledge

TTFN            Ta-Ta For Now

TTL4N           That's The Lot For Now

TTM             To The Moderator

TTMNR Take The Money aNd Run

TTS Tiny Tit Syndrome

TTUL            Talk (or Type) To you Later

TTYL            Talk To You Later

TTYS Talk To You Soon

TTYRS           Talk To You Real Soon?

TUFD            The User File Died

TWAIN Technology Without An Interesting Name

TWIMC To Whom It May Concern

TWYAS That's What You All Say

TWYT That's What You Think

TYLE Took You Long Enough

TYVL, YWEL Thank You Very Little, You're Welcome Even Less

TYVM            Thank You Very Much

U

U/L             Upload, send to the BBS

UAE             Unrecoverable Application Error (Bane of Windows' users!)

UBD User Brain Damage

UDS Ugly Domestic Scene

UFO Unidentified Flying/Falling Object

UL              Upload, send to the BBS

UOK yoU OK?

UNA Use No Acronyms

UNCLE           Unified Nuclear Coalition of Latvian Emigrants

URL Uniform Resource Locator

URLCM yoU aRe weLCoMe

USU             USUally (frequently just "usu.")

UTC             Under The Counter; Coordinated Universal Time;

Temps Universel Coordonnie

UTT             Under The Table

V

VBEG Very Big Evil Grin (as in )

VBG Very Big Grin (as in )

VBSEG Very Big S--- Eating Grin (as in )

VETLA           Very Enhanced TLA

VH Virtual Hug

VPL Visible Panty Line

VR Virtual Reality

VT Virtual Time

W

W/              With (frequently just "w/")

W/O             WithOut (frequently just "w/o")

W8 Wait

W8ING WaitING

WAB?            What, Another Bill?

WADR With All Due Respect

WAEF            When All Else Fails

WAFWOT What A F---ing Waste Of Time

WAG             Wild-Assed Guess

WALOC           What A Load of Crap

WAMKSAM         Why Are My Kids (or Kitties) Staring At Me?

WASP White Anglo-Saxon Protestant

WB Welcome Back

WCAGA           What Comes Around, Goes Around

WCTYBTWHTKY We Could Tell You, But Then We'd Have To Kill You

WDF What Da F---?

WDYMBT          What Do (or Did) You Mean By That?

WEFT Wrong Every F---ing Time

WEHT WhatEver Happened To (usu. followed by someone's name)

WETSU We Eat This S--- Up

WFHIT What Fresh Hell Is This? (from the writings of Dorothy Parker)

WFM             Works For Me

WFO Wide Full (or F---ing) Open

WGAS Who Gives A S---

WIBAMU          Well I'll Be A Monkey's Uncle

WIBNIF Wouldn't If Be Nice IF...

WIGAC When I Get A Chance

WIMP            Windows, Icons, Mouse, Pointing

WIZOP           Wizard Sysop (the primary forum administrator for a forum)

WMMOWS          Wash My Mouth Out With Soap

WOA             Work Of Art

WOFTAM          Waste Of Flaming Time And Money

WOLF Witless One Line Followup

WOM Word Of Mouth

WOMBAT Waste Of Money, Brains, And Time

WOWF Witless One Word Followup

WRATGAS Who Really And Truly Gives A S---

WRT             With Regard To; With Respect To

WSD Willing Suspension of Disbelief (e.g. when watching movies)

WTF             What The F---

WTFDIC What The F--- Do I Care

WTFDIK          What The F--- Do I Know

WTFDYTYA        Who The F--- Do You Think You Are

WTFIIWT_A What The F--- Is It With These _____ Anyway?

WTFO            What The F---, Over (Reply)

WTFWT           "What the F--- Was That?"  - Mayor of Hiroshima

WTG             Way To Go

WTH             What The Hell (or Heck)

WTMKF Welcome To My Kill Filter

WUGAC When yoU Get A Chance

WWS             Wife Wants Sex (please wait a tic)

WWW             World Wide Web; World Wide Waste; World Wide Waiting;

World Wild Web

WYBMADIITY Will You Buy Me A Double If I Tell You?

WYLABOCTGWTR    Would You Like A Bowl Of Cream To Go With That Remark?

WYLASOMWTC      Would You Like A Saucer Of Milk With That Comment?

WYGAC When You Get A Chance

WYGIWYG         What You Got Is What You Get

WYGIWYPF        What You Get Is What You Pay For

WYP What's Your Point?

WYSBANRTWYG What You See Bears Absolutely No Relation To What You Get

WYSINEWYGBIC What You See Is Not Exactly What You Get But It's Close

WYSBYGI         What You See Before You Get It

WYSIWYG         What You See Is What You Get

WYSOH Where's Your Sense Of Humor?

WYTYSYDG        What You Thought You Saw, You Didn't Get

X

XYZ eXamine Your Zipper

 Y

Y2K Year 2000 (2000 = 2K)

Y3 Yadda Yadda Yadda

Y6B whY 6 Billion? (ie, overpopulation is more dangerous than Y2K)

YABA            Yet Another Bloody Acronym

YAC are You Available to Chat?

YADS            Yet Another DOS Shell

YAFA            Yet Another "Fine" Acronym

YAFIYGI You Asked For It, You Got It

YANETUT You Are Not Expected To Understand This

YAOTM           Yet Another Off-Topic Message

YAP             Yet Another Ploy

YBYSA You Bet Your Sweet Ass

YCDBSOYA        You Can't Do Business Sitting On Your Ass!

YCDBWYCID You Can't Do Business When Your Computer Is Down!

YCLIU You Can Look It Up

YGTBK           You've Got To Be Kidding

YGTBDSM You've Got To Be Dry-Shaving Me

YGTBSM          You've Got To Be S----ing Me!

YHB_ You Have Been ______

YHBW You Have Been Warned

YHGASPL         You Have Got A Serious Problem, Lad!

YHGMTPO_ You Have Greatly Misunderstood The Purpose Of ______

YHL You Have Lost

YHTBT You Had To Be There

YKIYEI You Killed It, You Eat It

YKWIM You Know What I Mean

YKYB            You Know You've Been 

YKYB_TLW You Know You've Been ______ing Too Long When . . .

YM You Mean

YMMV            Your Mileage May Vary; literally, "your experience may differ".

YOYO You're On Your Own

YR Yeah Right

YSS             You Suck Severely

YWHOL Yelling "WooHoo" Out Loud (as in LOL)

YWSYLS          You Win Some, You Lose Some

Z

ZNT             ZiffNeT

Thnx 4 visiting By Em-nice (Malik Kabir Yar'adua)